I don’t know what to write. No, that is not true. I have a list of ideas to write about but I can not seem to muster up the energy. That is not true either because here a I am writing words off the top of my head and typing them into my laptop. I am not in the right head space to write about the things on my list. I am afraid that the things on my list are too big for me, yet they are my life lessons, so there is another lie that I am telling myself. I don’t seem to want to do anything. I don’t want to play piano. I don’t want to orchestrate my songs. I don’t want to write anything for my blog. Yet I keep telling myself that I do! If I truly wanted to, wouldn’t I be doing it? Wouldn’t I at least be walking toward my success?
I’m a big dreamer. Let me rephrase that. I dream HUGE. I can draw big pictures in my mind and then I get overwhelmed with how to paint them into reality. I don’t know that I am unique in this, as I think many artists also think this way. Occasionally one of the ideas does start to take shape and I am able to manifest something great. Sometimes, actually, it may not be great, but I am happy with the sense of accomplishment for just having started and finished something. Like writing a two paragraph blog entry that really doesn’t say anything at all.
November 19, 2014