When I was a teenager, the thought of suicide crossed my mind many times. I was encouraged by a minister I had confided in not to tell my parents I was gay because it was common practice in the 70’s & early 80’s to give gay children shock treatments. I prayed and prayed for God to remove this “affliction” from me and learned to hate myself. Years of abuse I put myself through in the form of anorexia, alcoholism, drug addiction. I was promiscuous, not because I was immoral. I’ve come to understand I was seeking validation of my true self. Granted, it was not the best way to go about it, but trying to be the good Christian boy in hopes that I would find a cure was just as harmful to my integrity. It took nearly 3 decades before I found my way out of that hole of self destructive behavior and I found my way to being whole.
Homosexuality was taken off the list of mental illness when I was just a child, yet I never imagined that our society would evolve so much in my lifetime. It’s a kind of blessing that I have experienced it by living through it. My authenticity, to be who God created me to be, is not a political or religious issue.
I am as I was born to be
I am as Love created me
I love the man I am today
I’m so grateful I am made this way
I am amazing! I AM!